Something I read : GayBanker

Recently, I read the blog from blogger Gay Banker. It was interesting to start with, however, after a few blog, about the relationship issue of this blogger, it does get on my nerve a little bit. He seems like a person who is hard to please, and always wants to get the best of both, a bit greedy, general speaking.

I m not here to talk about him tho, but about something related to him and me, might relate to you too.

Relationship. Have you ever think about yourself having a partner for life, but you do not live with him/her? And why do we think a couple have to live together? Was it about love? Can’t we love each other without seeing each other everyday? For me, I would like my bf lives closer to me, but not with me. I used to think a couple have to live together, if we truly love each other, it should not be a problem to see each other day and night. However, the more I grow up, the more I become independent, the more I enjoy my free time and do the things I really enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy seeing Z, but b’cos he lives in Liverpool and I m in Manchester, weekend seems the only choice for us to catch up. Sometimes, I would like my weekend on my own, go to gym, keep in shape, or paint, or whatever really. It would be nice if he lives closer so he can come over for dinner in the week, catch up and the rest of it :P, it doesn’t have to be in the weekend. However, if we live together, I don’t feel I should do things on my own by ignoring him, and it is not nice to ignore someone you love.

I found this situation of me and Z is good for us both. We have been together for 3 years, we have never lived together, and we haven’t plan to, and it works perfectly. I met a few people, and they asked me that how could I trust Z not being naughty behind my back. My first question for them is, define cheating. Some people would say, having sex with another one….for me, cheating is more like having a relationship and fall in love with them behind my back, if they told me before I found out, that doesn’t count as cheating either. I have been cheated on, by Z to be precise, he dumped me over another guy b’cos he was in love with him, and I found out before he told me. And why on earth I got back with him? He does have lots of quality besides what was happened. This story taught me a good lesson about relationship, when we are with someone, there is no guarantee that you or your partner would not cheat.

Everyone has tendency to be a cheater, usually b’cos of lust or occasionally love. by using restraints, such as living together, marriage, off-springs and what have you, people thinks that is a good idea. Yes, for some people, but fundamentally, what is the point to keep someone if they are going to drift off? If you truly love them, you want them to do what they want, you give you opinion, and let them do their thing, and same apply to relationship. In my point of view, if a side line relationship is going to happen, there is nothing you can do and should do, so just let it happens, move on and be happy for them. Remember, he/she is not all you have got. Since there is nothing you can do about it, so why worry at the first place.

The key thing about a sustain relationship is power balance. B’cos of you don’t worry about it, you are less possessive, you are more confident about the relationship and most of all about yourself. You know that he/she is not all you have got and b’cos of that, you both will be more appreciated each other’s existence.